I've never been known for being a trend setter, fashionista or hipster, but I have a few words of fashion advice for people visiting Puerto Vallarta. I would like to think I speak for the majority of expats living abroad, but I am sure I don't. Before I dole out my words of judgement; umm I mean caution, I must confess that I wore bright green crocks within the past 7 years, yearned for m.c. hammer pants as a kid, and regularly received a tight perm each August before school started. So, at least I am honest that I have made a few errors in reasoning.
Ok, let's get to the topic at hand...tourists who get beach-braids when they visit Puerto Vallarta; big faux pas. Come on lady, you are 65 and should not have had your hair braided while you were sipping your third margarita on the beach and your husband was getting his henna tattoo on his leg. Nor should a 7 year old, for that matter; henna tattoo, yes. Beach-braids, no. Seriously they are hideous.
I am down on my knees begging you not to get your hair braided the next time you are sitting on the beach south of the border. Unless, that is, you would get it done back at home; that is my general rule of thumb.
Here is my list of why you should not have your hair braided while on a tropical beach vacation.
1. You look ridiculous!
2. You are going to get ripped off and over-charged by every vendor you try to buy something from.
3. The hot tropical sun loves to burn pasty white scalps.
4. You look vulnerable and you stand out like a sore-thumb; an easy target to take advantage of.
5. Your friends back home don't want to be reminded of your tropical vacation while they were stuck at work.
6. You will look back at your pictures in five years (probably less) and wonder what the hell you were thinking.
7. Your significant other doesn't really think you look exotically sexy; nor does he want to pick the flaky white burnt skin out of your scalp after your head burns.
8. There are always a-holes like me laughing at you (and hopefully somebody is lurking behind and laughing at me).
9. Braids will not help you to get your groove back on. It worked for Stella, but won't work for you (great book; fyi).
To play the devil's advocate, here is one reason you should get your hair beach-braided the next time you visit Puerto Vallarta.
1. You lost a bet
Ok, after all that negativity and judgement, I am off to feed homeless kids and help old people cross the street as a way to wash away the hell points I just earned.
Ok, let's get to the topic at hand...tourists who get beach-braids when they visit Puerto Vallarta; big faux pas. Come on lady, you are 65 and should not have had your hair braided while you were sipping your third margarita on the beach and your husband was getting his henna tattoo on his leg. Nor should a 7 year old, for that matter; henna tattoo, yes. Beach-braids, no. Seriously they are hideous.
I am down on my knees begging you not to get your hair braided the next time you are sitting on the beach south of the border. Unless, that is, you would get it done back at home; that is my general rule of thumb.
Here is my list of why you should not have your hair braided while on a tropical beach vacation.
1. You look ridiculous!
2. You are going to get ripped off and over-charged by every vendor you try to buy something from.
3. The hot tropical sun loves to burn pasty white scalps.
4. You look vulnerable and you stand out like a sore-thumb; an easy target to take advantage of.
5. Your friends back home don't want to be reminded of your tropical vacation while they were stuck at work.
6. You will look back at your pictures in five years (probably less) and wonder what the hell you were thinking.
7. Your significant other doesn't really think you look exotically sexy; nor does he want to pick the flaky white burnt skin out of your scalp after your head burns.
8. There are always a-holes like me laughing at you (and hopefully somebody is lurking behind and laughing at me).
9. Braids will not help you to get your groove back on. It worked for Stella, but won't work for you (great book; fyi).
To play the devil's advocate, here is one reason you should get your hair beach-braided the next time you visit Puerto Vallarta.
1. You lost a bet
Ok, after all that negativity and judgement, I am off to feed homeless kids and help old people cross the street as a way to wash away the hell points I just earned.
