As Sam drove north along the Mexico 200 through Puerto Vallarta, I petitioned Mike and Nicole to close their eyes. I took the duct tape out of my first aid kit, pulled up my shirt, and applied the tape splat-dab on one of my ladies. I took a deep breath and ripped it off. Several times to be exact. The intense burning sensation left, but quickly returned. Pulsating through my chest. The duct tape idea was not some lame excuse to be sadistic; with my friends sitting in the back seat of the car. My wilderness medicine handbook, from my first aid kit, suggested the tape would help remove any leftover pieces of venom-filled nematocysts, found on the tentacles, of a jellyfish. A jellyfish was the only thing I could fathom as the culprit for the pain I was feeling. Thirty minutes earlier, I had been relaxing on the beach with friends. I had hurdled over the pounding shore break, to enter the ocean. And, felt it instantly. As the intensity escalated, it took me several minutes to get out of the water; having to back track and dive under several sets of waves, fighting the powerful backwash. I wanted to run out of the water screaming, but kept it cool and walked back, informing my friends of what had just happened. I put a towel over my head and took a peek under my bathing suit top.
BIG RED WELTS & BLISTERS.
After declining multiple offers from pee-'ers wanting to urinate on the sting, I still wasn't convinced the pain was from a jellyfish; nor was I willing to be marked, by the piss of my dear friend Mike. I have been stung countless times, while out surfing. And while the sting doesn't feel amiable, I have never had to leave the water. In fact, it is like a bragging right....'hey, I just got stung on the face by a jellyfish'; and look at me, I am still sitting here in the line-up. I have actually considered trying to freak-out the tourist crowding up the water. 'Ugh, the pain. Hurry, everyone out of the water; there are jellyfish everywhere'.
While living in Mexico, I've heard people talk about 'agua mala' [bad water] and always assumed it referred to jellyfish. I've witnessed a grown man hobble out of the water, nearly in tears because he was hit by agua mala. 'P*ssy', I thought to myself.
When we got home, I immediately researched the mysterious agua mala; to discover, it is a portuguese man o war. Its venom is equal to 70% the strength of a cobra. ¡Holy ba-jeezus! My natural instinct resulted in an immediate e-mail, to my friend Tiana; she is my go-to medic. She reassured me of what type of reactions to look for and suggested that a margarita might not be a bad thing. I also contacted cousin Sally; a highly certified dive instructor, whose marine life knowledge is incredible. I absolutely adored her response to my question (and need to stop e-mailing my friends for medical advice when I am freaking out),
Me: 'how do I treat a portuguese man o war sting'?....
Sally: 'don't let anyone pee on it and call a real doctor'.
After about 7 hours of burning, on-again-off-again, pain (and several margaritas) the pain subsided. I don't take back my mean thoughts about the whimpy man who hobbled out of the water. Apart from a few brief moments of seeking attention, from my friends and my husband, I thought I handled it like a champ. It only took five days for the welts and swelling to go away. It was a glorious 5 days being a full cup size bigger; on at least one side!
BIG RED WELTS & BLISTERS.
After declining multiple offers from pee-'ers wanting to urinate on the sting, I still wasn't convinced the pain was from a jellyfish; nor was I willing to be marked, by the piss of my dear friend Mike. I have been stung countless times, while out surfing. And while the sting doesn't feel amiable, I have never had to leave the water. In fact, it is like a bragging right....'hey, I just got stung on the face by a jellyfish'; and look at me, I am still sitting here in the line-up. I have actually considered trying to freak-out the tourist crowding up the water. 'Ugh, the pain. Hurry, everyone out of the water; there are jellyfish everywhere'.
While living in Mexico, I've heard people talk about 'agua mala' [bad water] and always assumed it referred to jellyfish. I've witnessed a grown man hobble out of the water, nearly in tears because he was hit by agua mala. 'P*ssy', I thought to myself.
When we got home, I immediately researched the mysterious agua mala; to discover, it is a portuguese man o war. Its venom is equal to 70% the strength of a cobra. ¡Holy ba-jeezus! My natural instinct resulted in an immediate e-mail, to my friend Tiana; she is my go-to medic. She reassured me of what type of reactions to look for and suggested that a margarita might not be a bad thing. I also contacted cousin Sally; a highly certified dive instructor, whose marine life knowledge is incredible. I absolutely adored her response to my question (and need to stop e-mailing my friends for medical advice when I am freaking out),
Me: 'how do I treat a portuguese man o war sting'?....
Sally: 'don't let anyone pee on it and call a real doctor'.
After about 7 hours of burning, on-again-off-again, pain (and several margaritas) the pain subsided. I don't take back my mean thoughts about the whimpy man who hobbled out of the water. Apart from a few brief moments of seeking attention, from my friends and my husband, I thought I handled it like a champ. It only took five days for the welts and swelling to go away. It was a glorious 5 days being a full cup size bigger; on at least one side!
The Portuguese Man o War has tentacles that can extend up to 165 feet (average is 30 feet). National Geographic describes the sting as excruciatingly painful. Oh yes, agreed!
